


The Start Of Something New

by bythelightofthenight



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, M/M, just really mcfucken gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 12:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8979052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bythelightofthenight/pseuds/bythelightofthenight
Summary: “It's been going on for weeks now. It's flowers and gifts and letters. I cried for weeks over that guy and now he won't leave me alone.” “Wow. I think you win.”“What's your story?”“I'm in love with my boss, who I was sleeping with for a while. She just got engaged last night.” - the holiday au, just mega super gay





	

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to write a millermonty ice skating date but then i watched the holiday n so now here is this. seasonal gay
> 
> millermonty n ravenluna are the pov pairings of this fic
> 
> eta: i forgot to mention while my and julia's go-to face for lexa is neelam gill, since they're aged up in this fic i was thinking more kaushal(beauty)

“Hey, Reyes! It's starting.”

Raven clicks save on her column before minimizing the window. She dusts herself off and rushes after Lexa.

“Any booze yet?” She eyes the room. They're still trying to get the sound system to work at the front. Lexa hands her a glass of champagne. “Thank god.”

“You know, you're not getting paid to work during a party.”

“I'm a dream employee. Leave me alone.” Raven takes a sip before downing half the glass. “Besides. It's a holiday party. Useless.”

“You just have an attitude problem. And no one to kiss under the mistletoe.”

Just then Raven spots her boss from across the room. The dress Clarke’s wearing hugs her full figure in all the right places - just like she knew it would when she first saw it hanging from her closet door a few weeks earlier.

“I have you, though.”

“Nice try. You couldn’t afford me.” Lexa lifts her pinkie as she takes another sip.

“What? I get no friend discount?”

Lexa shushes her, nodding to the front where they finally seem ready to start the usual speeches. Raven finds herself looking over at Clarke. She’s glancing at her phone discreetly, and Raven thinks of the message she last sent her. She hates being _that girl_. But it’s what she’s been driven to.

She lets Lexa force her into socializing for another hour before sneaking back to her work station. It's a great piece if she says so herself and she just wants to get the first draft finished now that it's still fresh in her mind.

The sound of someone clearing their throat draws her attention back to the present. Clarke's leaning on the edge of her desk with a slight smile on her lips.

“Hey there.”

“Hi.” Raven brushes her hair behind her ear.

“You really can't help yourself, can you?”

“I like my job.”

Clarke just keeps smiling. “You wanted to see me?”

“Oh. Yes!” Raven turns to dig through the top drawer. She stops with the neatly wrapped gift in her lap. “It's really nothing. I just saw it and thought of you and...”

Clarke reaches out for it and she hands the book over.

“I just know it was missing from your collection and...”

“Thank you, Raven”, Clarke says. “It's great. Sorry I don't have anything for you.”

“It's no big deal! That was just... something.”

Clarke's always kept a certain emotional distance from everyone. Raven's used to it and it doesn't bother her anymore. She knows Clarke cares about her.

“You got any plans for the holidays?”

“No... Not much. Just the usual.” Raven fidgets with her watch. She doesn’t have any family left, but she visits a few friends and gets drunk. It’s not her favorite time of the year. “What about you?”

“Stuck with the family like always.” Clarke shrugs. She checks her phone before pushing herself up. “Don't work too hard, alright? It's a holiday.”

Raven finds herself standing up so Clarke can wrap her arms around her. She breathes in the honey scent of her hair and sighs internally.

\--

Monty signs for the delivery and manages a smile for the man before slamming the door a little too aggressively. He stomps back to the studio and on his way drops the bouquet in the trash.

“Another present from _him_?” Bellamy asks without looking up from his computer.

“Yup.” Monty slumps down on the couch. “I just want him to leave me alone.”

Bellamy gives him a sympathetic look. He swivels closer with his chair and holds out a hand. “Let’s have it.”

Monty gives up the envelope, staring at the ceiling while Bellamy opens it.

“Please forgive me, yada yada, I regret it more than anything, blah blah -- You wouldn't know he's a writer from this.”

Monty cracks a smile. Bellamy puts the letter through the shredder.

He looks up when Bellamy's hand touches his knee. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I'm used to it. What else can he do besides cheat on me and destroy my confidence?”

“You need to get back out there. There's a thousand guys out there who'd kill to get in your pants.”

Monty grimaces. “No thanks. I get to mope around for at least a year.”

Bellamy shakes his head but lets it go. He gets back to work while Monty keeps staring at the walls.

“Maybe you're right.”

“Mhm.”

“Maybe I do need to get out there.”

“Like I said.”

“I need to get out of town. I need to get away.”

“Not exactly what I said.”

“No - hear me out.” Monty stands up and starts pacing. “You and Wells, I love you guys. But your happiness is a little unbearable at times. What I need is some time alone. Somewhere where I don’t have to throw flowers in the garbage. I need a hermit holiday. Is that a thing? They should make it a thing.”

“Okay. I get it.” Bellamy rubs his eyes. “So what are you gonna do?”

“I have no idea.”

\--

“Everyone, if I could have your attention!”

Raven pats Lexa’s arm to get her attention as the CEO, also known as Clarke’s mom, gets on stage.

“Good evening! I have some happy news for you all - since we are like a family here at Griffin Publishing. I’m happy to announce our own Clarke Griffin and Finn Collins have gotten engaged! Come up here Clarke and Finn!”

Raven stares forward blankly as the two join Abby on stage. Clarke's smiling brightly with Finn’s arm around her waist. Her ears are ringing and she misses what Abby says that makes everyone laugh.

Lexa’s looking at her worriedly as she says her goodbyes without really hearing her own words. The first tear breaks through right outside the building. Raven brushes it away and heads for the train station.

She stares out the window into the darkness through the trip. On the walk to her house, the sharp bite of the night air helps her hold it together.

Raven hasn't gotten properly drunk since the earlier days of her career, but now she grabs a bottle of wine. If there's a moment more deserving of lonely drinking than the night of the engagement of someone you're in love with, she can't think of it. Forgoing a glass, she takes a seat on the couch and takes a swig.

It all feels much more dignified than crying herself to sleep.

\--

The morning feels about as good as one would expect after all but chugging a bottle of red way too late at night. Raven’s still on the couch, her head buried under pillows to block out the light.

As the hours pass, she advances to an upright position. She locates her prosthesis and pops it on to her leg to help her hungover balance. After eating some dry toast she opens her laptop. The browser opens to her email and shows the newest additions already opened.

Raven groans at the sight of Clarke's name. She'd sent her something to read through the previous morning, but she didn't have time to check it. Until apparently last night. She sighs in relief as there's no reply sent in the early hours of the day. She still has her dignity at least.

The latest message she's opened is from a website called homeexchange.com. “Your application is now published. View your profile here”, the message reads. Raven rummages through her brain, trying to remember when exactly she’d had this idea. Originally it was something she’d considered and promptly chickened out of.

Even the hangover can’t make it seem like the worst idea. A change of scenery might just be exactly what she needs. Not that it seems likely anyone will choose her home. As much as Raven loves her house, it’s not luxurious.

She leaves the application up and goes to take a bath.

After soaking in the water until it gets cold, she’s already forgotten about it. That’s until she hears the high _ping_ of her phone, signaling a new email. She reaches for the laptop she left open and clicks on the icon.

She reads the message three times before it sets in. Someone from Los Angeles wants to exchange houses with her. From Los Angeles. With her. It seems too good to be true.

She types up a quick response and sends it right away before she can make herself back out of it. Soon enough there's a notification from Skype and she accepts the request.

“Hi.”

“Hey. You're a lot younger than I expected.”

“Likewise”, Raven chuckles.

The man grins. “I'm Monty.”

“Raven.”

“So. Have you done this kind of thing before?”

“Never. I only just put up my profile last night.”

“I noticed. It's my first time too. Kind of on a whim, too.”

“I was drunk.”

Monty bursts into laughter. “I like you already.”

“So why are you thinking of getting away for the holidays? Romantic trip ahead?”

“Quite the opposite. I'm trying to get away from all things romance.”

“Ah. Relatable impulse. Sure you wanna come to the middle of nowhere from LA, though?”

“I desperately need a change of scenery.”

They talk for a long time, sharing things about their neighborhoods and houses. Monty's easy to talk to and they get along really well. She almost feels sad they won't meet.

“It's been going on for weeks now. It's flowers and gifts and letters. I cried for weeks over that guy and now he won't leave me alone.”

“Wow. I think you win.”

“What's your story?”

“I'm in love with my boss, who I was sleeping with for a while. She just got engaged last night.”

“Ouch. Sorry.”

“I always knew I needed to get over it, but here I am. Why is it that holidays always make you feel alone?”

“We're supposed to be on our way to 2,5 kids and a divorce.”

“Right.” Raven sighs heavily. “So when are we doing this?”

“How soon can you leave?”

\--

“You’re really doing this?”

Raven turns to Harper, who’s looking at her with a frown. “Yes. I’m going.”

“You know they drive on the other side of the road, right?”

“I know. I’m not gonna get hit by a car, H.”

“If you’re sure. Be safe, okay?”

She reaches over the gearstick and hugs her tightly. “I’ll text you when I get there.”

Harper kisses her cheek. She gets her luggage out of the trunk and starts dragging them inside. It’s been a long time since she last traveled. Her stomach is filled with butterflies.

Despite swearing she’d leave all thoughts of Clarke behind, as she takes her seat on the plane she’s left alone with her brain. They started up their thing a long time ago, just months before Clarke’s promotion. It was always meant to be just sex. They were kind of friends, but they got closer after it got physical.

Raven’s not sure when she fell in love. Clarke was never in it as deep as she was. Raven was aware it was casual and that Clarke had other relationships as well. But she didn’t know she and Finn were that serious. That Clarke would want to marry him.

It hurts. Even if it’s not supposed to. She never told Clarke about her feelings. But there was always that glimmer of hope in the back of her mind, telling her it could still happen. Now she’s paying the price.

\--

The car pulls up on the snowy street. Monty peers out the window at the field spreading out on the side of the road. The driver turns back to look at him.

“Other side.”

Monty looks through the other window. The cottage looks like one out of a fairytale. The roof’s covered in snow and the vines running down the old brick walls have a layer of frost on them. “Oh.”

He pays the driver and together they get his bags to the front door. It’s not too warm inside, but Monty spots the fireplace and makes a note to start a fire as soon as he’s taken a tour. The house is small but tidy. Raven’s left notes around for him, for using the stove, where there’s extra blankets, directions to town.

Settling in is fine. He puts away his things and gets the fire started. The crackling is unusual enough for his ears to work as background noise. When he gets used to it, the silence starts weighing on him.

It’s been just a few hours. But suddenly he can’t remember why it was a good idea to leave. His friends are his family. It’s the first time he’s far even from them during the holidays.

He’s used to keeping himself busy with work, his hobbies, more work, seeing his friends, even more work. Now he has no other choice but to relax and be alone with his thoughts. It should be good for him.

Bellamy picks up immediately. “Hey! How is it?”

“I’m having second thoughts.”

“No, Monty, no. You’re taking time for yourself. Don’t give up yet.”

“Yeah, Mon. You’re so brave”, Wells adds.

“I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Go look around. Take a walk. Get drunk. Read a book - didn’t you say you wanted to read a book?”

“I guess...”

Wells’ voice is fond and Monty misses him a lot. “Give yourself a minute to get used to it. It’s a new situation.”

“Go meet a stranger! Buy us the weirdest English candy you can find!”

Monty smiles. “Thanks, guys.”

“We’re rooting for you. And we can’t wait to meet this Raven person.”

Bellamy makes an agreeing noise. “Oh, ask Raven if she has any friends there who could show you around.”

“Great idea, babe.”

“Okay. I’ll go take a walk now. There’s snow.”

“Send us pics!”

Monty bought a coat just for the trip. It was a good choice. It’s not too cold, but he’s really not used to it.

He ends up taking plenty of pictures for Bellamy and Wells. It's just so beautiful everywhere he looks. Before the closest he's been to the countryside is farmers markets.

Raven calls him as he's walking back towards the cottage. She's ecstatic about his place and she spends five minutes gushing over the heat. She also promises to send him her friend Harper's number in case he's in need of a tour guide.

As they finish the call, he tries to embrace her attitude.

\--

Raven knows she's not dreaming, but she's still had to pinch herself a few times. Monty's house is massive. It's really more like a mansion.

She spends an embarrassing amount of time just wandering through the rooms and touching things. Monty mentioned being relatively successful in his profession, but Raven suspects _relative_ means a little more on LA’s scale.

Her plan for the first night is to stay up as long as possible to start fighting the inevitable jet lag. The time difference and the flight are already making her eyelids heavier, but she's never been a quitter. Changing into lighter clothes and splashing water onto her face, she prepares to go exploring.

The neighborhood is full of mansions just like Monty's. Compared to them, Monty's isn't quite as fancy so she has to give him that. As she walks through the streets, she can't help smiling. This was an amazing idea.

There's a woman doing yoga in her yard, and Raven strongly reconsiders the celibacy she committed to on the flight over. LA is full of gorgeous women, most of whom aren't wearing too many clothes. It's only fair she keeps her options open.

She stops by the open gate of a property that seems to be covered in flowers. There's so many plants she can't even recognize and the scent is heavy in the dry air.

“Hey, hi, sorry.”

Raven looks up to see a woman approaching her through the yard. She's wearing a large shirt covered in paint and holding a baby in her arms. “Hi?”

“I'm sorry to bother you, but could you possibly come help me move a couch?” 

“A couch?”

“I promise it's not bad! I've just been told not to strain myself too much and my friend isn't picking up her phone.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Thank you! Come on in.”

Raven follows the woman inside. Her house is gorgeous much like Monty's, but a lot messier. There's baby toys and empty paint cans scattered around.

“Are you renovating?”

“Oh, no. Was just struck by inspiration to redecorate.” She waves towards some misplaced furniture. “I'm Anya, by the way. You're not from around here, are you?”

“No, I'm not. I'm Raven. I'm just on holiday. I live in England.”

“Traveling really does open your eyes, doesn't it?” Anya doesn't wait for a reply, heading up the stairs. Her baby watches Raven over her shoulder as she follows.

“Your baby’s really cute.”

“Thank you. I'd love to say it's all me, but he's got most of it from his father. Poor kid.”

Raven doesn't know what to say. Anya straps the baby in a seat before turning around and clapping her hands together.

“Alright. The couch is this one over here and I want it in that room.”

It only takes barely a minute for them to move it. Anya thanks her over and over. Suddenly the phone rings downstairs and Anya heads for the stairs again. She seems to second guess for a moment before looking over to Raven while gesturing at the baby.

“I'm sorry. Could you..?”

“Uh, sure.”

While Anya rushes downstairs, Raven picks up the baby. He can't be more than six months old. She's never really been into babies, but this one really is cute.

Anya's talking animatedly on the phone as they make their way downstairs. Raven can hear the door open and another woman enters the room. Her long red curls are tied up in a ponytail and she's carrying a bag of groceries.

“Hey, An. Sorry I'm late. I got caught up at the --” she cuts off when she notices Raven. “Oh. Who are you?”

“I'm Raven. I just came to help move a couch and... and now I'm holding a child.”

The woman flashes a wry grin. “Trust Anya to bring strangers into the house at all hours of the day.”

Anya flips her off. Raven hands over the baby after the woman sets down the groceries.

“Hey, Lincoln. How's my little man?” She kisses the baby's head.

“I'll be on my way then.” Raven starts moving towards the door.

Anya moves the phone against her shoulder. “Thanks again!”

She smiles kindly and makes her exit.

\--

He's tried it all. Every relaxing tip and breathing exercise he could find. But he just won't fall asleep.

Having gone to town earlier, Monty turns to his last resource. Alcohol.

He sits by the fire and sips the champagne he bought. It's past midnight and he's contemplating how terrible he'll feel in the morning if he takes a sleeping pill. He just needs to tire himself out. Maybe he should jerk off.

It's not that there's anything wrong with his sex drive. It's just that everything that happened with his breakup really threw him off his game. His ex was not a supportive and positive person. When things got rough between them, it took a toll on Monty's confidence.

He tries to think of things that normally turn him on, but being in a strange house doesn't help. It doesn't take long before he gives up.

A thump outside the front door reminds him he's all alone. As it turns into a knock, he forces himself to think it's most likely not a serial killer.

There's a man outside his door. He's dark, tall and handsome, and Monty thinks maybe he's hallucinating.

“Hi. Uh. You're not Raven.”

“I'm not. Who are you?”

“I'm Nathan. Her brother. Sort of. And I've had a little to drink so I only remember now she's out of town. Fuck.”

“Did you need something?”

“Well, uh, I sometimes come into town by car and don't mean to drink. But then I do. And so Raven lets me crash here.”

“Oh.”

“I don't mean --”

“It's fine. Come on in.” Monty steps out of the way and Nathan moves past him. 

Nathan gets out of his coat and takes a seat on the couch. “I promise this won't happen again. I'm not an alcoholic.”

“Honestly it's fine. I wasn't doing anything. I hadn't really thought this whole being alone thing through.”

“So you switched houses?”

“Yeah. Raven’s at my place in LA.”

“Wow. You're far from home.”

Monty takes a seat next to him, keeping a mindful distance, and offers him the bottle. “Yeah. Needed a little change.”

“How's that working out for you?”

Nathan's got a killer smile. Monty feels the thrum of the champagne in his veins and it's distracting. It's telling him to do things he really shouldn't.

“Not sure just yet.”

Nathan watches him for a moment. “Huh. So what do you do?”

“I'm a composer.”

“Hm... a musician. That's hot.”

He raises his brows at him. “Are you hitting on me?”

“Only if it's working.”

Monty stops thinking and leans forward to press their lips together. He's _never_ done anything like this before. He's not a one night stand -kind of guy. But he's in a different country with someone he'll never see again. It's exhilarating.

“I'll take that as a yes?” Nathan pants after he pulls away.

“This might sound weird, but hear me out.”

“I'm listening - trust me.”

“We should have sex.”

Nathan blinks at him. “Not that I disagree, but huh?”

“I'm on holiday. I've gone through a messy breakup in the past year. I'd like to have a good time, and you look like good time in human form.”

“I don't have anything to counter with. Sure.”

Monty kisses him again, tugging him up from the couch to start guiding him towards the stairs. Nathan's hands are on his ass and their hips keep brushing, sending sparks of arousal through his body.

He gets pushed against the wall and Nathan's lips find his ear. “What do you want?”

“Honestly? Anything.” He shivers as Nathan's teeth graze his neck.

Nathan goes down to his knees, and he chokes on a breath.

\--

For once Raven's grateful for her sleep debt. She stayed up as long as she could and managed to sleep well into the morning.

She has breakfast on the terrace in the sunshine. It's a beautiful day. She tries to remember the last time she felt so happy being awake.

Around noon she gets a call from a friend of Monty's. He tells her excitedly that they're coming over and will take her see the city.

“Oh my god. She's gorgeous”, she hears one of the men waiting outside the gate exclaim.

They introduce themselves as Bellamy and Wells. Monty did warn her about them beforehand. She gets in the car and they're off.

“So Wells’ dad is our boss and so Wells kept coming over to the office a lot after finishing university and moving back home. It was, like, love at first sight”, Bellamy says, grinning at Wells.

They're seated at a rooftop terrace as the sun is setting. The day had been wonderful. The boys showed her the best coffee shops and restaurants and tiny boutiques on small side streets.

Wells shakes his head. “It was not. He stared at me from his desk for ages before I even learned his name.”

“Boss’ son, huh?” Raven raises her brows. “Pretty brave.”

“I was the one who made the first move”, Wells snorts. “Otherwise who knows how long it would've taken.”

“Hey! I was preparing... And I didn’t wanna get fired.”

Wells narrows his eyes. “You really think my dad would’ve fired you for dating me?”

“You didn’t hear how he talked about you! You were basically a miracle child.”

“I was not. But okay. Maybe you were right to be a little nervous.”

Raven snickers while Bellamy swats at him. “You might just be the only office romance that’s worked out.”

“Ooh, this sounds like a story.” Bellamy leans forward. Wells shoves at his shoulder but turns to look at her as well.

“There’s no story. I was sleeping with my boss. She’s getting married now.”

“Ah, that sucks.”

Raven waves them off. “It was on me. We were just hooking up.”

“Still. You’re such a catch, Raven. Anyone who doesn’t ask you to marry them is a fool.”

“Do _you_ want to marry her?” Wells raises a brow.

“I’m only speaking the truth.” Bellamy crosses his hands. “So... should we find you a rebound?”

“Please, don’t. I promise I'm fine. Well, I'm dealing with it at least.”

“So this is like a cleansing trip?”

“I suppose. I think just all the sun’s making me feel better.”

“We'll handle the rest, then”, Bellamy smiles.

\--

When he wakes up, he feels more relaxed than in ages. It's just on the side of too warm under the covers but he's so comfortable he can't move a muscle. There's hot skin against every inch of his front. He's missed waking up holding someone.

Nathan sighs and pulls his arm around him tighter. Monty holds his breath, but he remains soft and comfortable against him.

“Mornin’”, Nathan mumbles.

“Hey. This isn't quite protocol, is it?”

Nathan chuckles. “Nah. But I don't let just anyone come in my ass so.” Monty chokes on air again, making Nathan laugh harder. “You don't do casual hookups, I assume?”

“No. I haven't really gone out much since my breakup. I wasn't feeling too hot after it - literally.”

“What do you mean?”

Monty strokes his chest thoughtfully, the feel of the soft hair under his fingers oddly comforting. “My ex, he... He had a way of getting me down. I didn't feel desirable with or without him. So I guess what I wanna say is... thank you.”

“Thank you?”

“For making me feel like that - wanted - again last night.”

“Oh. You're welcome. Though, it was not a difficult job.” Nathan pats his hand before moving out of his hold as he gets up from the bed. “You're a really hot guy.”

Monty's cheeks burn as he smiles. “Thanks.”

“Do you mind if I take a shower before I go?”

“No, uh, go ahead.”

Nathan disappears in the bathroom, and Monty buries his face in his pillow. He's _terrible_ at being casual.

He goes to get the coffee going and brush his teeth downstairs. All the while he's desperately trying to think of what to say to Nathan before he leaves. He hates how much he wishes it wasn't a one night thing and that Nathan would stick around to keep him company.

Nathan's pulling on his coat as he walks into the kitchen. “All right. Thanks again for letting me crash here. I hope you have a good holiday here.” He stops right by him and presses a kiss on Monty's cheek. “And don't be too hard on yourself.”

He doesn't actually manage to say anything before Nathan's already out the door. With a sigh he slumps into a chair.

\--

It's another beautiful day. Raven thinks she was born in the wrong country; clearly she belongs in the sun.

She's walking back to the house when she spots a familiar face. Anya's pushing a stroller, looking exhausted as she types on her phone. She only notices Raven when she greets her.

“Oh. Hi!” The smile that spreads on her face makes her look instantly younger. “How are you?”

“I'm great, thank you. I was just at the beach. How are you doing?”

Anya makes a vague gesture with her hands, but suddenly her eyes fill with tears. Raven tries not to panic and strokes her arm calmingly.

“Hey, it's okay. Let me walk you home, okay?”

Anya nods and they start towards her house. Inside, Raven gets her a glass of water and at her instructions takes a baby monitor to Lincoln’s stroller. When she takes a seat opposite Anya, she's mostly calmed down.

“I'm sorry”, she says.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. Is there anyone you can call?”

“Luna's coming over later. I don't wanna bother her now.”

“Is Luna your partner?”

Anya laughs softly. “No. She's my agent. She's just too kind and keeps helping me out around the house.”

“Do you want to talk about why you were upset?”

“I'm still quite hormonal. Pregnancy stuff, you know. It happens.”

“All right. Do you want me to stay with you?”

“I'm sure you're busy.”

Raven reaches over the table for her hand. “I promise I'm not.”

Anya smiles and squeezes her hand back.

\--

Raven's walking around the living room with Lincoln in her arms when Luna arrives.

“Huh. You again.”

“Yup. Me again.”

Luna crosses her arms. “So where did you come from exactly?”

“I'm living a few houses down for a while. I did a house exchange with Monty Green.”

Anya gasps. “Oh, Monty! How is he?”

“He's good. He's at my house in England.”

“Sounds exciting.”

Luna turns to Anya. “Got any work done today, An?”

“Nope. I said I can't do it.”

“What do you do?” Raven asks.

“I paint.”

“She's an artist”, Luna steps in. “One who has an exhibit coming up.”

“Oh wow! That’s amazing, Anya.”

“Don’t get too excited. I’m not doing it.” Anya walks over and takes Lincoln from her. She holds the baby to her chest like a shield. “I haven’t painted anything but walls in ages. And I have a baby to take care of.”

Luna just shakes her head and moves over to the kitchen. Anya rocks Lincoln gently, humming under her breath.

“I'll go change him. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

Anya gives her a smile before disappearing in the nursery. Raven follows Luna to the kitchen.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make things uncomfortable.”

Luna sighs and shakes her head. “It's not you. That happens every time I bring it up. She's gone through a lot and I think she's just given up on herself. So if you get her out of the house, it's all good. She just needs to trust herself again.”

“I'll see you around?”

“Yeah. Thanks for staying with her.”

“No problem.”

Raven leaves, but her thoughts stay with Anya. She really wants to help her out any way she can. Keeping her company is no problem as they had a really nice time together. But Raven thinks maybe she's really making a friend.

Her phone rings just as she gets back to the house. “Well if it isn't my baby brother calling me for once.”

“Hey, Raven.” She can hear the eye-roll in Nathan's voice. “How are you?”

“The sun is shining, the birds are singing. I think I never wanna leave.”

“That's great. So you haven't heard from you-know-who?”

Raven groans. “You called me to ask that?”

“It ties pretty closely to how you're doing, don't you think?”

“Fine. Yes. She's messaged me a couple of times, saying she wanted to tell me but didn't know how.”

“Do you believe her?”

“There were a lot of things she never talked to me about.” She drops down on the couch, letting her head fall back. “I know she's not in love with me. So she'll marry Finn and make her family happy. It's her choice.”

“Where's this coming from?”

“I traveled to the other side of the world. I'm getting over her. I wanna be happier, healthier. It's like the sun’s cleared my head.”

“Sounds good. Just don't forget me, okay?”

“I could never.”

\--

Raven's friend Harper shows up to take him to see London. She's promised Monty the full tourist experience of the city, and he'd be lying if he said he's not excited. His phone battery is at 100% so he'll get as many pictures as possible for Wells and Bellamy.

Harper's straightforward and talkative and a hilarious tour guide. Monty has more fun than he's had in ages. They take pictures at every sightseeing spot and Harper has him pose for individual shots, directing him like a photographer at a modeling shoot.

“I used to work as a tour guide, you know.”

Monty stares at her. “No, you didn't.”

“Why wouldn't you believe me?”

“Because we've gotten lost like twice!”

They burst into giggles and have to stop walking to lean on each other before managing to stop. Harper wipes a tear from her cheek and links their arms.

“So tell me about your music.”

“Well... I started off with commercials, but it wasn't really my scene. I wanted to do something that makes people feel things, not something that gets stuck in your head.”

“So how many instruments do you play?”

“I play the guitar, the piano, some drums”, he shrugs, “and my mom made me play the clarinet till I was 13.”

“Oh my god. And now you're a hotshot music producer in Hollywood.”

“Am I the coolest person you've met?”

“Absolutely!”

They step into the pub where they're supposed to meet up with Harper's girlfriend Maya. Monty comes to a halt as they reach her. Next to the dark-haired woman sits Nathan, who looks just as surprised to see him.

He greets Maya the best he can without staring at Nathan. He looks better than Monty remembered, even in the poor lighting of the pub. It's awfully unfair.

“And this is actually Raven's brother Nathan.”

Nathan shakes his hand with a slight grin.

“So Monty and I are best friends now. I'm never letting him leave”, Harper tells Maya.

“Good to know.”

“We're gonna go grab drinks. Be right back.” Harper drags him with her to the bar. “Something's off.”

“Huh?”

“What is it?”

Monty lowers his voice. “I kind of slept with him.”

“What?!”

He slaps a hand over her mouth. “I thought I'd never see him again.”

“You’ve been here for a couple of days, you minx! So is it awkward?”

“No, I don't think so. He's really nice and we had a good time...”

“Oh god. You have a crush on him.”

“Oh _my_ god. Shush.”

“You do, though.”

“Just like... moderately. It's physical. I've seen him naked.”

“Still.”

Monty groans. “You heard nothing, okay? Never mention it.”

“I've got you.”

He doesn't like the width of her grin.

\--

“You look like you're planning something.”

Raven smiles innocently. “I'm not doing anything.”

“Just lay it on me”, Anya sighs, adjusting Lincoln in her lap while he eats.

“I wanna help you out.”

“Alright...”

“We're going to find your inspiration”, Raven announces.

“Oh no. Not you too.”

“There's no pressure with me. You'll just keep me company as I, a visitor here, go see some things. Starting now.”

“Did Luna put you up to this?”

“No! I'm genuinely this nice.”

Anya huffs out a laugh. “Right. So you wanna take me and my baby to see things around the neighborhood.”

“Yes. We'll look at sunsets and sunrises and street art and everything I can come up with. I looked you up, okay? Your work is beautiful. And you always said it makes you feel free.”

Anya watches her for a moment. “You're not gonna let this go, are you?”

“No.” She grins.

“So what is it that we're doing today?”

“To the beach. There's this guy painting there. He's amazing.”

“Fine. Let's go.”

\--

“So what’s your favorite thing in LA so far?”

Raven sucks on her popsicle as she thinks. “The light. It’s constantly cloudy and raining in England. My dad’s from Mexico so I guess I should’ve known I was born for the sunshine.”

“You ever been?”

“To Mexico? Yeah, as a kid when my abuela was still alive. We always stayed at my tío’s house near the beach. I loved it there.”

“You could go back.”

“I probably should.”

Raven’s phone buzzes. It’s Clarke calling her. She rejects the call immediately. Anya raises a brow when she meets her eyes after shoving her phone back in her bag.

“It's just my boss.”

“You trying to get fired?”

“She knows where I am. And that if there's anything work related she can email me. I haven't taken a proper vacation in nearly two years. I've earned this.”

“So why is she calling you?”

“She does that. I'm kind of her go-to girl.”

Anya nudges her shoulder with her own. “You in love with a straight girl?”

“Not a straight one. But she doesn't love me. And she's marrying a man.”

“I used to be married to a man”, Anya says.

“Oh - it's not about that. I just don't think that she loves him either. I’m accepting that she broke my heart and that it’s her mistake to make, but... I just don’t wanna get mixed up in all that.” Raven sighs. “She sprung this on me just like on everyone else. I’m trying to put myself first for once.”

“That’s good, though.”

“What happened with your man?”

Anya draws a flower in the sand with her finger. “I didn’t do much self reflecting when I was younger. We got married, I realized I couldn’t be happy with a man. So he left. I was with the woman I fell in love with when I found out I was pregnant. She chose not to stick around.”

“Wow. I’m sorry.”

“It’s nothing to be sorry about. It’s just life. Being pregnant alone was a bit scary as is having a baby. But I wouldn’t take it back if I could.”

“When did you stop painting?”

“Around the end of my pregnancy. I couldn’t stay on my feet for long enough and every position was uncomfortable. Afterwards it was all so overwhelming I couldn’t even think about it. And then it was just gone. Honestly, I must be the only person not inspired by their own hardships.”

“Maybe your inspiration is in happy things.”

Anya laughs and shakes her head. She takes a bite of her popsicle, making Raven cringe. “I do love popsicles. When I was pregnant I used to have them with whipped cream.”

“No way.”

\--

They’re walking to Harper and Maya’s to spend the night. The crisp December air bites at Monty’s cheeks and he shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. Nathan’s walking next to him, not close enough for their arms to brush. Maya and Harper have their arms around each other, which makes their walking slightly less coordinated but keeps them well upright.

Nathan takes the floor while Monty lies down on the couch. It’s a cold night even under the covers. He wakes up sometime during the night when Nathan nudges him. He whines as he’s pushed closer to the back of the couch.

It’s much warmer with Nathan’s body against his. Monty can’t make himself complain about his straightforwardness when he drifts off almost immediately.

Waking up, he really needs to get to the bathroom, but Nathan’s unmoving behind him. So he goes for the ribs.

“Ouch.”

“I gotta get up.”

“Can’t you get around?” Nathan mumbles.

“You mean over?”

With a groan, he gets up, letting Monty out before slumping back down. It’s still cold, but he doesn’t think he should climb back in. The look Harper gives him tells him she's witnessed their sleeping arrangement.

“Not a word”, he warns.

Harper gives him an innocent smile.

He should’ve known she won’t go easy on him. They head off for a night out, tipsy and high-spirited, and Nathan meets them by the door of the club. Harper ignores Monty’s glare.

They have a good time, although Monty doesn’t fully trust himself around Nathan when he’s drinking. He ends up dancing with him, bodies close and his arms around Nathan’s neck. In his defense he dances the same way with Harper. Afterwards he steps outside to cool down. Nathan doesn’t say anything about it so Monty assumes the hassle is only in his head.

\--

“No - see, it's clearly compulsory heterosexuality and the atmosphere of the age. He's absolutely gay.”

“Is this just you or do you know something I don't?”

It's been so cold for a few days no one's wanted to go outside. So Nathan and Maya have made him watch all their favorite shows on Netflix. He hasn't really heard of them past the titles.

Maya flops down on the couch, back from the bathroom. “Are we talking Shao? Totally gay.”

“See?” Nathan points at her. “She knows.”

“Okay. I believe you.”

“Different topic but, Monty, do you do something for Christmas?” Maya asks.

“Not really. Normally I'd just go see my mom.”

“You should come to our place. We're cooking some dinner and stuff. Nothing fancy; neither of us is Christian.”

“Yeah, I'm in.” Monty smiles brightly. “Thanks.”

Maya ruffles his hair. “No problem. You going to your pop’s, Nathan?”

“Yeah. I don't think he's too excited Raven's out of the country so I'm sure it'll be fun.”

“You'll be fine.”

“She'd better bring me some killer presents from the States, is all I'm saying.”

\--

Christmas comes and goes. Monty has a great time at Harper and Maya's. They eat way too much and play board games, and Monty skypes his mom and then Bellamy and Wells.

Nathan sends him a picture of himself looking displeased in a terrible Christmas sweater. Monty almost saves the picture.

The days following are slow. But he's finally getting used to the pace. He's read a few books, watched movies, and learned to love the sound of snow under his shoes.

A few messages from Raven reveal that there's been more mail for him. He's starting to worry he'll go right back to the mess he left behind when this holiday is over.

“What's up?” Nathan asks. They're walking towards an ice skating rink in town. Harper and Maya are supposed to meet them there.

“Huh? Nothing.”

“You look... less cheerful than normally.”

Monty sighs. “My ex is still sending stuff to my house. I just want him out of my life, you know? Enough is enough.”

“Have you talked to him since you broke up?”

“I've yelled at him from my balcony. If that counts.”

“Maybe what you need is a restraining order.”

“I've considered it.”

Nathan raises a brow. “I was kidding.”

“I'm not.” Monty stops walking and Nathan frowns at him. “Whenever he sends me something, I feel... I feel reminded of how stupid I was. For trusting him. And how weak he thinks I am. Like I'd go back to him just because he said he's sorry.”

“You weren't stupid. You're supposed to trust the person you're with.”

“It should go both ways.”

“Of course.”

“Can we talk about something else? Like how I'm gonna fall right on my ass on these skates.”

Nathan laughs. “I'll teach you.”

“I feel like balance is something you can't teach.” He takes a seat on a bench, eyeing the skates doubtfully. “The girls have clearly chosen better and decided not to show up.”

“They probably just got distracted. Come on.” Nathan sits next to him and starts pulling on his skates. He actually owns skates.

Monty relents and takes off his shoes. Skates are not comfortable. Nathan tells him figure skates are even more uncomfortable, but it's not much consolation.

“I've always wondered how ice skating dates could be romantic. Is it the fact that if you let go, you'll bruise your ass?”

Nathan just rolls his eyes and drags him with him to the entrance. Monty grips his hands tightly as they step on the ice. His legs stiffen to keep him upright and so he can't exactly lift them.

“Relax. It doesn't hurt that much if you fall. Here”, Nathan starts pulling him forward as he skates backwards, “Once you feel steady, just start drawing little snowballs like this.” His feet separate and come back together, forming a circle while moving them forward.

“Snowballs?”

He grins. “That's what they called them when I was learning how to skate as a kid.”

“That's adorable.”

It doesn't take long before everyone - including little kids - passing them with ease gets to him and he starts moving his feet. Nathan doesn't say anything, just giving him a knowing smile. Drawing circles still feels ridiculous so he tries to lift his feet.

“Little softer on the knees”, Nathan says as he staggers.

In the end he's able to let go of one of Nathan's hands. Nathan still keeps him balanced and from running into others, but he can mostly move without being pulled.

“See? You're a natural.”

Monty scoffs. “Right. Are you bored to death yet?”

“No.”

He looks up at him, swaying slightly. Nathan glances back. He stops suddenly, bringing Monty in front of him in a curve.

He can't even think of resisting when Nathan leans in and kisses him. It's soft and sweet, but his fingers dig into Monty's hips.

“You wanna get back?”

Monty manages a nod. They get off the ice and return his skates before falling into step with each other. He wants to say something or take Nathan's hand, but all he does is walk.

Nathan still doesn't say anything when they get in. He takes off his coat and kicks off his shoes. Monty follows his example, and Nathan steps up to him. He unzips the fleece he'd borrowed from Raven’s closet and runs his fingers over his sides. All Monty can do is stare.

Nathan's hands are cool against his heated skin. They push the fleece off his shoulders and go for the hem of his shirt. Monty catches his eyes and he can't not kiss him. Nathan's lips part with a gasp and he deepens the kiss, tugging his body closer to his.

They stumble towards the stairs once again. Monty knows it's a bad idea. There's already feelings involved on his part and he hasn't talked about it to Nathan. Still, he decides to ignore the voice in his head.

He gets Nathan out of his shirt and shoves down his jeans before unceremoniously pushing him on the bed. Monty straddles his thighs.

“Have I told you you're really hot?” He pinches one of Nathan's nipples, earning a groan.

“Have I told you I'm starting to think the whole lack of confidence thing was bullshit?”

“I didn't say I'm bad at sex. I said I'd lost confidence in my skills.”

“Should've known you're a tease.”

Monty laughs and leans down to kiss him. Nathan nudges his nose with his own, staring up into his eyes. Monty feels lightheaded.

“What do you want?” he asks quietly.

Nathan bites down a grin before swiftly flipping them over. He rolls his hips into Monty's as he pretends to think. “I think I'll ride you.”

Monty lets out a breath. “Fuck.”

“You think so too?”

“Shut up.”

\--

Raven's lounging on Anya's couch with Lincoln on his back under a mobile on the floor, when Luna walks in.

“Are you sure you don't live here?”

“Anya's napping”, she replies.

Luna sits at the end of the couch. “Are you her nanny now?”

“It's called friendship. Why are you so distrustful?”

“I'm just cautious.”

“And I'm a nice person. Come on. Ask me anything.”

“When did you aspire to become a baby snatcher?”

“Good one.”

Luna flashes her a smile. “Thanks.”

“So what do you do as an agent?”

“I organize stuff, schedule our clients’ lives - I'm basically a walking day planner.”

“I guess there's a big market for that here?”

“Yeah. There's way more talent than there are takers, really. It's mostly singers and actors, obviously, but I prefer working with people like Anya. It's less hectic and more centered.”

“Can't deal with divas?”

“Oh, artists are the biggest divas. But no, I love Anya.”

“So the exhibit?”

Luna rubs her eyes. “It's basically a done deal, but she doesn't even want to attend. The whole point is to sell off her work and keep her name out there. She's done a lot of custom works too, and those orders come in at the shows.”

“I'm working on it.”

“Huh?”

“I'm gonna get her to that show. It's for her own good. She just needs to remember why she loves what she does.”

“You working on some master plan?” Luna chuckles.

“Yes. Just wait.”

“Alright. I'll put your name on the list.”

Raven grins smugly before turning to coo at Lincoln, who's watching them from the floor.

\--

“So you and Raven... siblings kind of?”

Nathan laughs. “We're siblings. Just not by blood or in any legal way. Technically she was my foster sister. She lived with me and my dad for nearly three years.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” Monty rolls on his side to look at him. They've been in bed for hours, just lying around. So far he hasn't brought up what he really wants to say.

“You have any siblings?”

“No. it's just me and my mom. My dad passed away when I was 16.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Thanks.”

They stay quiet for a while. Nathan reaches over to play with his fingers.

He lets his eyes wander over Nathan's bare chest. He's too tired to start anything yet, but it doesn't mean he can't look. His skin is dark and smooth and his toned hips turn into a slight v towards his cock.

“You can stare all you want, but I can't get hard yet.”

“Shut up. I'm just looking.”

Nathan pinches his thigh. “Fuck, you're making this really hard.”

“Making what hard? Not your dick, that's for sure.”

Nathan laughs but it turns into a groan. “Seriously.”

“Seriously what?”

“This isn't real, right? We can't date.”

Monty blinks at him. “Uh.”

“I'm really into you, Monty. But I wasn't supposed to be. Because you don't even live here.”

“What are you saying?” he rasps out.

“Should we be doing this? I don't wanna fall for you just to have you leave for good.”

It takes a while for him to find his voice again. “You think you'd fall for me?”

“I'm trying hard not to all the time.”

Monty launches at him and kisses him hard. Nathan's arms wrap around him to keep him from rolling them over the edge of the bed.

“I didn't say anything because I thought you didn't feel the same way”, he whispers a breath away from Nathan's lips.

Nathan strokes his hair back. “I do. And it just means we're screwed.”

“Can you let me enjoy the fact that you like me back for just a second?”

“Okay.”

Nathan lets him kiss him again, slow and languid with warmth curling in his chest. He all but melts into him, blanketing his body with his own.

“We still need to talk about this, you know.”

“I know. I just don't think I wanna hear what has to be said.”

Nathan noses over his cheek. “It doesn't have to be right now. Do you still wanna do this, knowing the talk is coming?”

“Yes. I really do.”

“Good.”

\--

Raven leafs through the papers on Anya's dining table to find a magazine she wanted her to look at. Lincoln’s sucking on a toy happily on the floor, and she smiles at him absentmindedly. Luna's talking on the phone in the living room, her quick chatter turning into background noise.

She makes a neat stack out of all the bills she passes. Some of them have “paid” written on them, others don't. Doodles surround the words, creating a pattern of arrows and ribbons over the sheets of paper.

“Are we ready?” Luna asks, having finished her call. Her eyes stop over Raven's leg and her expression turns surprised.

“Oh, you haven't --” Raven moves aside the hem of her sheer skirt. “It's a prosthesis.”

“Sorry. I didn't mean to stare.”

“It's fine. I'm kind of getting used to showing it off, too.”

“It suits you.” Luna's cheeks turn pink. “That was a weird thing to say. Sorry.”

Raven bites down a grin. “It's fine. Thank you.”

“Okay. Let's go then.” Anya zooms past them to grab Lincoln.

“You're doing great.” Raven offers an encouraging smile.

Anya answers with a sour look. “I'm not doing this voluntarily.”

“We know.” Luna pats her shoulder. “Let's go.”

They get in Luna's car and drive across town. The building doesn't stand out from the others, especially with the front doors shut, but inside it's the complete opposite. Walls divide the room into smaller areas where light is directed at the paintings on both sides of the structures.

Anya's work is full of color and movement while in contrast the newcomer Emori’s photography is dark and almost haunting. They go together in a way that's unexpected, but undeniably magnetic.

“Oh”, Anya lets out. She moves further in, pushing the stroller, leaving Raven and Luna behind.

Raven nudges Luna's side. “I think she likes it.”

Luna nods, biting her lip as she watches her friend. They let her walk through the exhibit on her own, only sending her wide smiles when she looks back.

“Hi. I'm -- Wow.” The woman who just walked in stops to stare at the scene in front of her. “It looks incredible.”

“Congratulations, Emori.” Luna hugs her shortly.

Emori’s young and beautiful, her eyes shining bright against the dark shades of the rest of her attire. “Thank you! God, I'm so excited. Can you believe this is actually happening? Oh - hi! I'm Emori.”

Raven takes her hand and shakes it. “Raven. I'm Anya's friend.”

Emori gasps. “Anya's here?”

Luna points to the other side of the room. Emori lets out a high pitched noise before skipping over to where Anya's talking to the owner of the gallery.

“She's... adorable”, Raven says as they step back outside.

“I told you. The artists are the most fun.”

Raven rolls her eyes. “You work with her too?”

“I discovered her, actually. I was at this LGBT youth center with Anya. She donates to it a lot. And I actually used to go there, too. The work they do is really amazing. I just wanted to give something back. ‘It gets better’ can sound really empty when you're struggling, but as someone who was once a homeless trans kid too, I wanted to actually give them any opportunity I could.”

“That's incredible, Luna. Really.”

She smiles, shrugging lightly.

“I was a foster kid. My mom was an alcoholic and my dad left her. He asked me if I wanted to go with him, but my life was in England so I stayed.” Raven’s not sure why she's sharing suddenly, but it's easy to talk to Luna. “Ironically she was sober when we got hit by a drunk driver. I got massive nerve damage on my leg, but it wasn't until the infection that they decided to amputate it. But then I went to live with the Millers and things got a lot better. I'm still really close to them.”

“It's pretty mind-blowing just how much things can change.” Luna leans against the wall. Raven can still see the tension in her shoulders and neck.

“It's gonna be okay, you know? You can relax.”

“I'll relax once this is finished. Maybe.”

“Come on. Drop those shoulders. You've done a great job.”

“It's a curse. I think I'm clenched even in my sleep. After this I'll either need to get really drunk or laid.”

Raven laughs. “Sounds like a plan.”

Luna turns to look at her. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything you've done for Anya. It's easier knowing she's not alone.”

“It's been my pleasure.”

\--

“You what?” Bellamy's voice rises at least an octave.

Wells takes over the phone, always more calm. “We're really happy for you, Mon.”

“I'm so fucked, Wells. There's only so many days left till I have to come home. I'm crazy about him.”

“So you've talked about it?”

“We've... kind of been ignoring it... for now.”

“Monty.”

“I know! But why talk when I can just, like, kiss him. And not talk.”

“You're just digging a hole for yourself.”

Bellamy returns. “Monty, I'm gonna need to talk to this guy.”

“Over my dead body, Bell.”

“ _But, Mon!_ ”

Wells physically removes the phone from his hand. “Monty. You're gonna get hurt. You have to face the facts.”

“But why? Why can't I get a dream romance too?”

Wells’ voice softens. “You can. But it won't work if you don't go over what's about to happen. You live across the world. It's a lot for long distance.”

“I know.”

“Do you... want him to ask you to stay?”

“More than I've wanted most things in my life.”

“Would you stay?”

“I mean, my whole life is there. It's not -- I don't know how to make a decision like that.”

“You could follow your heart”, Bellamy suggests gently.

“My heart’s a little bitch and we all know that.”

“Or you're hesitant because you don't wanna let yourself be vulnerable again.”

Bellamy gasps. “That's beautiful, babe.”

“I hate the both of you. I'm hanging up now. Love you.”

\--

Raven opens the door to find Luna standing behind it. “Oh. Hi.”

“Can I come in?”

She moves out of the way. Luna looks put together like always except that her curls fall wildly over her shoulders. She keeps tugging them back behind her ears almost nervously.

“What's up?”

“Can we talk?”

“Sure.” Raven leads her to the kitchen where she was making tea for herself. “You want something?”

“No - no, I'm good.”

She leans against the counter and waits for Luna to start talking. When it doesn't happen, she frowns. “Is Anya okay?”

“Yeah, she's fine. It's not about her.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Luna still doesn't continue. Raven's about to ask, when there's a knock on the door again. She goes over to open it.

A strange man stands there with his fist up like he's about to knock again. “Is Monty here? I need to talk to Monty.”

“Who are you?”

“I'm his -- I'm his boyfriend.”

“Oh. Which one?”

The man’s face falls, and Raven slams the door. She returns to the kitchen.

“Sorry. Just Monty's stalker. You were saying?”

Luna bites her lip. “Well. I know that you're leaving soon, I do, but I guess since we met and with how great you've been with Anya and everything --”

Raven's phone rings loudly on the table. “So sorry.” She silences it despite her brother's name flashing on the screen.”

Luna clears her throat. “I guess I've --”

The phone rings again. Raven sighs. “I'm sorry. It's my brother.”

Luna just nods, and so she picks up.

“Hey, is something wrong?”

“Raven, I think I'm falling in love.”

“For fuck’s sake, Nathan.”

“What?”

“Sorry. Nothing. Why is that an issue?”

“You know Monty..?”

“ _No._ ”

“Raven --”

“ _You slept with the poor guy that's living in my house?_ ”

“I can come back later”, Luna says.

Raven holds up a hand. “Nathan. I'm not done with you, but I'll call you back, okay?”

“Fine.”

She sets down the phone again. Luna raises a brow.

“So Monty's doing well in Europe.”

Raven huffs out a laugh. “A little too well, it seems.”

“I think you're really great and --”

The doorbell rings, the sound echoing through the house.

“Jesus. What is up with today?”

Luna covers her face with her hands. Raven skips over to answer the door once more. Her jaw drops when it reveals Lexa.

She's even more surprised when Lexa bursts into tears and hugs her. Luna comes over to see what's going on, her eyes widening at the sobbing girl in her arms.

Lexa gets it together eventually and dries her eyes. “Sorry.”

“What's going on?”

“It's Clarke.”

Raven's stomach drops. “What happened to Clarke?”

“No, she's okay. It's just --”

Raven smacks her arm. “Don't say it like that! Christ, it sounded like she's dead or something!”

Luna clears her throat. “I'll come back another time.”

“I'm sorry, Luna --”

“It's fine.” She kisses Raven's cheek lightly before walking out.

Raven touches the spot, blinking after her for a second before remembering what was going on. “Come on”, she sighs.

They sit down outside. Lexa’s still sniffling.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I'm in love with Clarke.”

Whatever she thought she'd hear, that wasn't it. “Huh?”

“I'm in love with Clarke.”

“Yeah, I heard you. But why? When? Why?”

Lexa runs a hand through her hair. “I think I've been in love with her since the day I met her. She's gorgeous, she's funny, she's brilliant --”

“I'm familiar with Clarke.” Raven waves her off. “You know I am.”

“I know. It's why I never told you. I'm her assistant; it was inappropriate since the beginning. But we've spent so much time together and I feel so comfortable with her, and she values my opinion and... She makes me feel things I've never felt before.”

“You could've told me. I mean - I was in the same boat.”

“Was?”

Raven shrugs. “I'm... moving on every day. The distance’s really helped.”

Lexa's eyes fill with tears again. “She's still getting married.”

“I know. It's why I left.”

“She kissed me, Raven.”

She freezes.

“We were talking in her office and she seemed upset. I asked if it was the wedding stress, but she just shook her head. Then she-she walked around her desk and she was so close to me. And she just looked at me - I swear no one's _ever_ looked at me like that. And she kissed me.”

Raven stares at her. “W-huh?”

“I know.”

“Did you ever think she might be?”

“No! Never! I mean she's marrying Finn and she was with you and --”

Raven flashes a wry smile. “She was never in love with me.”

“I -- Raven.” Lexa reaches over to take her hand. “I'm not telling you this to hurt you. I don't even know why I'm here. I just needed to get away.”

She squeezes her hand. “So what happened?”

“She took off right after. And the next day the wedding was moved up.”

“I'm sorry. That's how she is. I don't think she's accepted she likes women. Some people never do.”

“I'd never expect anything from her. I just -- I'm in love with her.”

“I know, Lex.”

They sit in silence for a while.

“Maybe I just have to move on, too.”

“Well, you've come to the right place. You're in paradise now. It's the perfect place to forget all about Clarke Griffin.”

\--

“What?” Monty asks, touching his cheek. “Is there something on my face?”

“No”, is all Nathan says. He keeps watching Monty, a soft smile on his lips.

“Seriously. What is it?”

“Nothing.”

Monty rolls his eyes and grabs Nathan’s glass. He takes a sip without breaking eye contact. Nathan simply continues to smile at him. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

Monty lets it go. He’s just finished his risotto, feeling full and slightly drowsy. “This place is really nice. Do you come here often?”

“Yeah, it’s my favorite. I usually just come here with my dad or Raven.”

“You’re cute.” Favorite place, only with family - he presses his lips together in order not to smile too widely.

“I am.” Nathan grins.

They get the check and leave the restaurant. Nathan takes his hand as they walk through the streets.

“You know... this is kind of our first date.”

“No, it’s not. We went skating remember?”

“It’s not a date if you don’t know you’re on a date!”

Nathan shrugs. “It felt like a date to me.”

Monty stops him. He wraps his arms around Nathan’s neck and pulls him close. “You make a strong case.”

“You’re easy.”

He gasps. “Excuse me.”

Nathan laughs, kissing him lightly. “You wanna go back to my place?”

Monty looks down. “Um, I was thinking... could we talk?”

“You wanna have the talk... now?”

He nods. Time’s been running out on him. New Year’s is just around the corner and his flight home awaits. He can’t wait any longer.

“Okay.” Nathan’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Should we walk?”

They continue to a nearby park. Monty misses the warmth of Nathan’s hand in his.

“I -- This has nothing to do with how I feel about you. You’re amazing and I -- What i’m trying to say is... I’m trying to be rational. We live so far from each other.”

“I know that.”

“I honestly have no idea how to do this. It scares me. Because I can’t just leave and not think of this - of you again. But this isn’t my life. Not here.”

“I know that too.”

“Do you -- Do you want to keep doing this... even if I’m not here? I mean, long distance or whatever. Do you think this is leading to something real?”

Nathan sighs loudly. “I don’t know.”

“I think that’s an answer, Nathan.”

“Monty --”

“I’m serious. That’s what we need to be thinking about. If we have a future.”

“So what do you wanna do?”

“We have to decide. Either we stop now or we agree to let go when it's time.”

“You know I don't want to stop.”

“I don't either. But it's gonna hurt so much. Is it worth it?” He thinks as he's asking that for him it is. That maybe in the last few days they'll figure out something and it'll all be okay.

“That's not fair. It'll hurt even if we say right now to never see each other again.” 

“So we agree? We stay together until I leave. And then it's done.”

Nathan stares at him for a while, his face unreadable. Finally, he reaches up to touch Monty's cheek. “Yeah.”

Monty pulls him into a kiss. He holds onto the front of Nathan's coat tightly as it deepens, focusing on the heat of his lips instead of the words he's not brave enough to say.

\--

Raven knocks lightly on the doorframe of Anya's bedroom and walks in. “Hi honey, you ready for your big day?”

Anya sets the rest of her freshly folded clothes into her closet before turning to face her. “It's not that big.”

“Well we're treating it as such either way.”

Anya wraps her arms around her suddenly. Raven hugs her back just as tightly for as long as she holds on.

“Thank you, Raven.”

“You don't have to thank me.”

Anya pulls back, her hands still on her hips. “But I do. You've been such a positive impact on my life for the past few weeks. I haven't felt happy in a long time - not truly - no matter how hard I tried. You've been there for me through the crying and moving furniture more than once...”

“The couch does look better there”, Raven says softly, feeling her eyes prickling.

“And whatever higher power brought you here to me, I'm very grateful.”

“You're a brilliant person, An. It's been a privilege to get to be your friend.”

Anya kisses both of her cheeks before letting go to dry the tears from them. “Don't cry, sweetheart. It's not the end.”

“It feels like one.”

“There's still a few more days.”

Raven sighs. “You're right.”

“So what happened to you the other night? Luna was asking me not-so-subtly yesterday who Clarke is.”

Raven grimaces. “Did you tell her?”

“Just a little bit.”

Raven sighs again. “There's someone I'd like you to meet.” Anya follows her downstairs where Luna and Lexa are chatting. “This is my friend Lexa. She's here for the exact same reason as me.”

“Wow. Getting over this chick is really getting expensive, huh?” Anya shakes Lexa's hand.

“You have no idea.”

Lincoln’s crying comes through the baby monitor. “Well, he’s up.”

“You have a kid?”

“The cutest baby you’ll ever see”, Raven says.

“Come on. He’s right upstairs.” Anya switches off the monitor and grabs Lexa’s hand.

Raven shakes her head with a laugh. “More babysitters.”

“I should get going.” Luna picks up her bag.

“Wait, Luna.” Raven reaches out but doesn’t touch her. “You wanted to talk --”

“It was nothing. It’s fine.”

“Come on. You can talk to me.”

Luna gives her a quick smile. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tonight, yeah?”

“O-okay. Yeah. See you.”

She watches Luna leave with a frown. Any thought that tries to form gets cut off by the sound of her ringtone. She walks over to the patio as she accepts the call from her brother.

\--

“I think maybe I'm just being an idiot.”

“Possible.” Harper nods.

“You're very much not helping.”

“Go on.”

Monty sighs. “I can't stop thinking about it. Even if we have a romantic comedy airport chase scene, it doesn't solve any of our problems. I mean. Could I move here? I could -- Could I move here?”

“I don't know, Mon...”

“Maybe I could work long distance or something, but... I don't know if he wants me to stay.”

“Don't tell me you're gonna leave this on the chance that he asks you to stay.”

“Well...”

“Oh, come on. You have to tell him there could be a chance of you being able to stay. Why can't you just ask him?”

“Because I don't wanna get turned down.”

Harper rubs her eyes. “True love is annoying as hell in real life.”

“Hey!”

“Maybe you should forget the magical love affair and try to work with your ‘we've known each other for a number of days but this could be something amazing’ deal. Huh?”

“See, the common sense kind of ruins it for me.”

Harper's cursing under her breath as Nathan gets in. “Great! You're here. I'm gonna go.”

“I thought we were gonna catch a movie?”

Harper throws on her coat and heads for the door. “I've seen all of them.”

Nathan gives her an odd look, while Monty's covered his face with his hands.

“Is she drunk?”

“No. No, she's not.”

Nathan drops down on the couch next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer for a kiss. Monty wants to keep him close and ignore everything else, but he knows he'll just chicken out again.

“Nathan. What would you say if I could stay?”

“What?”

“I could work from here. I could stay.” A smile spreads on Nathan's lips and Monty's heart flutters faster. “I could figure something out. Maybe there's a chance.”

Nathan's smile drops suddenly. Monty freezes. He gets up, stepping away from the couch and from him.

“So you don't know. For sure.”

“Well, no --”

“Monty, I... I can't go on for maybes. I just can't. This, us, it's -- I don't think I can keep doing this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don't think we should see each other anymore.”

He stands up. “Nathan.”

“No. Monty. I'm serious. I'm making this easy for the both of us. Goodbye, Monty.”

He's out the door again before Monty can say anything. He stares after him for a long time, frozen in place in the middle of the living room.

\--

Raven peeks out the bathroom to see Lexa dancing around in her underwear to the radio. She’s been in a better mood lately, and Raven’s glad.

“Get dressed, please! We don’t wanna be late.”

“Yes, mom”, Lexa chirps. When she joins Raven in the bathroom she’s wearing the dress she borrowed from her. “See? Quick as lightning.”

“To be fair, a dress is not the hardest thing to get into.”

“Have you seen this dress?” Lexa points to the skin-tight black number she’s wearing. “There was plenty of wriggling.”

“You look perfect. Ready to go put yourself out there?”

“Nah. I’m ready to let them think, though.” Lexa grins, plugging in the curling iron. “What about you and Miss Business?”

“Who - Luna? What about her?”

“She obviously likes you. I could see it from a mile away the first time I saw you two together.”

Raven wrinkles her nose. “She does not.”

“She does. And clearly you’re not impartial either.”

“Okay. I’m not. If she asked me out, I’d say yes. She’s amazing. And gorgeous. But I’m leaving soon.”

“Have you thought of... not leaving?”

“Not leaving?”

Lexa sets down the curler. “You clearly love it here.”

She looks at her friend in the mirror. “I do. I really do.”

“It’s not impossible, you know. The accent will fade eventually.”

Raven elbows her. “I don't know. It doesn't seem realistic. And my job...”

“You can be a columnist anywhere.”

“You trying to get rid of me or something?”

Lexa laughs. “Yes. I'm going for your job.”

“You're gonna go back to working for Clarke?”

“We do not mention that name! Give me a hand.”

She helps Lexa pin her hair the way she wants it, leaving the heavy curls flowing over her left shoulder. Lexa leans against her side once they're done.

“We should've just fallen in love, right?”

“Yeah”, Raven sighs. “Would you have taken me to meet the extended family in India?”

“Sure. I’d take you any time.” Lexa pats the side of her head. “We’d be such a pretty couple too. Imagine our kids.”

Raven pushes her away with a chuckle. “All right, sweetie. We’d need to talk about kids.”

“Ah, there it is. We’d never make it.”

“Okay, drama queen. You ready to go?”

“Let’s.”

\--

The gallery is already bustling with people as they walk in. Bellamy and Wells are waiting for them by the doors. Wells looks like a kid in a candy store.

“I spot the art geek”, Raven huffs.

“Hey. We’re both nerds. Bellamy collects _documentaries_.”

Bellamy rolls his eyes. “Way to throw me under the bus, babe.”

“Can we _please_ go look around already?” Wells tugs on his sleeve.

“I wanna go find Anya. You guys go ahead.”

Wells doesn’t waste time answering, dragging Bellamy with him. Raven shakes his head at them and Lexa laughs.

“I’m gonna go see where the champagne’s at.” Lexa pats her shoulder.

Raven walks through the gallery and spots Anya talking to a few people. She looks radiant, expressing excitedly with her hands. The people listening to her watch her intently, hanging onto her every word.

When Anya sees her, she breaks away from the group. “There you are!” She wraps Raven up in a hug.

“You did it. You’re here.”

“I am.” Anya looks around. “Can you believe it?”

“I can. I knew.”

“Of course you did.” Anya pokes at her side. “You look gorgeous, by the way.”

“Me? Look at you. This is your night, mami. You’re the star.”

“I am, aren’t I?”

Raven squeezes her arms. “You are.”

“It just feels like... this is where I belong, you know? I forgot how much I missed this. The thrill, feeling of accomplishment, all these people.”

“It’s still a part of your life. If you want.”

Anya sighs. “I do.”

Raven lets her get back to the people still wanting to hear from her. She goes to look through the exhibition, catching up to Lexa soon. She doesn’t know much about art, but they listen to people who seem to know what they’re talking about. Raven has to shush Lexa multiple times when she starts giggling at the most absurd things they’re saying.

She sneaks into the backroom later in the evening, tipsy off champagne and laughter. Anya shines as the center of attention. It’s been a joy to watch her.

“Hey there.”

Luna’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts. She turns around to face her. “Hi. You’re here.”

“And so are you.”

Raven watches her move closer. She’s just the slightest bit off balance on her heels and she holds onto the desk Raven’s leaning on for support. “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing.” Luna flashes her a smile.

“You’ve had some champagne?”

“You can tell?” Luna chuckles. She tilts her head and bites her lip. “Shut up - I’m a lightweight.”

“I can see. You weren’t kidding then.”

“About what?”

Raven raises her brows. “Getting drunk or laid.”

Luna lets out a breathy giggle. “Damn right.”

They’re both sitting on the edge of the desk now, just inches apart. Raven keeps watching her. Luna’s cheeks are flushed from the alcohol and her updo is falling apart slowly, strands of hair curling around her ears and down her neck.

She reaches over to tug one of the ringlets behind her ear. Luna catches her hand, stroking the back of it with her thumb.

Raven leans in and kisses her. It’s just the soft press of their lips together, but when she pulls away, Luna lets out a shaky breath. She fears rejection for a short moment before Luna's tugging her over to stand between her legs, their lips coming together again.

Luna's hands find her waist while Raven's hold her face. The kisses are hungry and just on the side of sloppy, enough to make Raven's stomach tighten.

“Hey, Raven --” Lexa freezes in the doorway, a smirk forming on her face. “We're heading out now. But... take your time.”

They burst into laughter once she's gone. Luna does her best to swipe off the lip gloss staining her skin. Raven doesn't know what to say as they head out together.

“Worst fucking timing, Lex”, she grumbles to her friend in the cab.

Lexa's giggling at her pain. “Sorry.”

\--

The headache she wakes up to feels well earned. She lies in the dark and thinks of how different she feels from the last time she woke up like this.

Lexa walks in through the door without knocking and collapses on the bed next to her. “My head. Death.”

Raven just groans in reply. Lexa eventually wriggles her way under the covers and she's asleep in seconds. She doesn't even stir when Raven's phone rings.

“You're killing me, brother.”

“Long night?” Nathan asks.

“A little. What's up?”

“I broke it off with Monty.”

“Oh. Wait. _You_ did? I thought you had a deal.”

“We did. But it's too hard. I couldn't do it. He just seems so... I don't know. Like whether he stays or not is no big deal.”

“Wait - stays?”

“He was saying he could work from here. But I don't think he was serious. And I just had to end it.”

“You were really falling for this guy, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“Maybe it's better that things just go back to how they were. Like none of this ever happened.”

“Yeah... maybe.”

\--

“That must be the pizza.” Lexa jumps off the couch at the sound of the doorbell. She pads over to the door and Raven can hear her opening it.

It's not the pizza guy.

“What are you doing here?” Lexa's voice is shaky. Raven considers going over, but she decides against it, choosing to stay around the corner.

“Lexa, I'm sorry, okay?” Clarke sounds tired. It's not an uncommon pitch to her voice, but Raven thinks she's never heard as much emotion with it. “I know you don't want to see me and I'll go if you ask me to, but, please, give me a chance to explain.”

“I'm listening.”

They don't move from the doorway. Raven's frozen on the couch, listening intently.

“There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of you. I-I know that I hurt you, but I was so... I was so torn. My mom, she - she wants me to marry Finn. And I wanted to do that so she'd finally... I don't even know. Respect me? Love me?

But I can't do it. Because I don't love him. And I don't want him. And marrying a man I don't love won't make these feelings I have go away. Feelings that... that I can love a woman the way I've loved men.

I've selfishly loved every moment we've worked together. I never wanted to ruin that - I wasn't even ready to know how. But having you around made me second guess every decision I was making. And so when you left, I realized I couldn't stick to the one decision I'd made that would keep you away forever.

I've made a lot of mistakes. I've hurt people and I've lied. But I don't want to lie anymore. I want you, Lexa. I-I love you.”

The silence that follows has Raven nervous. That perhaps Lexa's physically combusted. She walks around the corner just to see the two of them practically entwined, sharing kisses and words of reassurance. They only snap out of it when she clears her throat.

“If you hurt her again, I'll gut you. Okay? I know where you live.”

Clarke nods with a smile, her eyes shining with tears. She's distracted by Lexa pulling her into a kiss again. Raven shakes her head and walks away before she has to see too much.

\--

“Wow”, Anya says. “Wow.”

“I know.”

“So she came across the world... to declare her love. For someone else.”

“Yup.”

“Someone else, who's your closest friend.”

“Yup.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

“Are you okay? I mean... she broke your heart too.”

Raven looks out the window into the garden. “I am. I mean it's weird. But it doesn't... feel the same anymore.”

“You did say you came here to get over her.”

Luna's crossing the pathway towards the house. “I kind of want to just forget. She makes my friend happy. I want to focus on that. I don't know this Clarke. I don't know honest, lovesick, romantic Clarke. It's a lot easier to see how I loved an idea of what I wished she was. Because I didn't actually know her.”

“Sounds like you've moved on.”

“I'll trust you word as an expert.”

Anya elbows her in the ribs. Luna walks into the kitchen. She spots Raven and her cheeks flush.

“I'm gonna go check on Lincoln.”

Raven knows he's napping, but she doesn't stop Anya as she makes her exit. “Hi”, she says to Luna.

“Hey. How are you?”

“I'm hiding out here while my best friend and my somewhat ex are fucking in Monty's guest room.”

“Wow.”

“That's what Anya said.”

Luna's been moving slowly across the room. She keeps her eyes cast low, but glances up at her every few seconds. “How are you taking it?”

“I'm surprisingly okay. I've had other things on my mind to help distract me.”

“That so?”

“Mhm.”

She gets close enough for Raven to pull her in and kiss her. Once again Luna breathes heavily as she pulls away.

“Don't tell me you're in love with my best friend too.”

Luna laughs, tipping her head back. “That won't be a problem.”

Raven pretends to wipe sweat off her brow. “Phew.”

Luna leans closer again and touches her nose with her own. “Go out with me.” She doesn't reply, and Luna dips down to press a kiss under her jaw. “Go out with me.”

Raven grins. “I suppose I could.”

\--

Monty stares at the ceiling. He’s lied on his back on the bed for hours. It’s been a day since Nathan told him they shouldn’t see each other anymore. He didn’t get any sleep that night, just rolling around miserably.

He’s ignored Bellamy’s and Harper’s calls all day, but when it’s Raven, he picks up. He lets her review everything that’s happened before his silence becomes noticeable.

“So... you and Nathan.”

“He told you?”

“Yeah. We’ve talked a few times.”

“Is he... Is he okay?”

“Well. He's pretty upset. But it's understandable, you know.”

Monty sighs. “I know.”

“What happened with you two?”

“I tried to take it easier on myself. Like, I wasn't supposed to _meet_ anyone. I came here to get away from my past mistakes. I figured it was just meant to be a rebound. But I know it wasn't - not anymore at least. I really care about your brother, I do. But I messed it up. I tried not to be too clingy for once.”

“You know, Monty... my brother’s never really wanted a long term relationship. He hasn't fallen for anyone. Until now. It's new for him; it's the first time he's _wanted_ someone to be ‘clingy’.”

“Oh.”

“I'm telling you this because I like you. And therefore I don't wanna have to kick your ass for hurting him.”

He takes a deep breath. If Raven thinks there's still a chance to fix things, there must be. “Got any other tips for me?”

Raven chuckles. “You're on your own, kid. But there is something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay?”

“I know this whole staying or leaving thing is a big deal. But I could help with that. I mean, this whole swap was so simple and... well, maybe we could keep it up for a while.”

“What do you mean?”

“I-I don't think I'm coming back to England.”

“Wow, um, what about your job?”

“I have a bit of an in with the boss. But it really is about me. I always wished I'd get a better offer somewhere else. Either way, writing’s something I can do anywhere. And let's just say Clarke's gonna write me one hell of a recommendation letter. I never loved my job the way I love it here.”

“You wanna stay in LA.”

“Yes.”

“My work’s been my life for so long... I wouldn't know what to be without it.”

“But?”

“I don't think I can leave without giving us a chance.”

“Yeah?”

“I don't wanna lose him. I'm gonna find a way to fix this.”

“Atta boy. Go win him back.”

“You're sure about all this?”

“I am.”

\--

The smile on Lexa's face makes it all feel worth it. Raven knows she'll be okay without her there. It's a bit unsure still how it'll all go down when the two of them go back to a canceled wedding and _Abby_. It makes Raven a little glad it's not her mess anymore.

They're having a New Year’s party at Anya's house that night. If she hadn't decided to stay, it'd be her farewell party as well.

Raven finishes making her smoothie. Lexa flashes her a knowing smile, but goes back to playing with Clarke's fingers while she reads the paper. Raven makes her way back upstairs without a word.

Luna stretches her arms over her head before accepting the glass from her. Raven sits on the edge of the bed and takes off her prosthesis. She crawls over to sit on top of Luna's sheet-covered thighs.

“Good?”

Luna makes an agreeing noise and hands the glass back. Raven takes a sip before setting it on the nightstand. She leans down and kisses her lightly.

“I had a really nice time last night.”

Luna raises her brows. “Really? I couldn't tell.”

Raven grins, moving her lips over her jaw and down to her neck. “We should do it again sometime.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm.”

Luna wraps her arms around her and rolls them over. “Would you look at that? I'm free right now.”

Raven tugs open her robe. “What are the odds?”

\--

It’s still early when Monty gets to Harper and Maya’s. He’s nervous, but Harper assured him that she’d get Nathan there. He wasn’t answering Monty’s calls and he needed to talk to him.

Harper lets him in. She gives him a worried smile, but doesn’t say anything. Nathan’s in the living room with Maya. He looks up and sees Monty, his face falling.

“Harper”, Nathan sighs.

“Don’t shoot the messenger.” Harper pulls on her coat and hands Maya hers. “We’re going to the store. Behave, boys.”

Nathan stays still while they leave. He doesn’t look at Monty even when he sits down right by him. Nathan’s in an armchair so he can’t get too close, but he thinks it’s probably for the best.

“I’m sorry for doing this. But I had to talk to you. I can’t leave without talking to you.”

“We’ve already talked, haven’t we? Why are you doing this?”

“I wasn’t direct enough with you before and I’m sorry that I made you think I’m not serious about this. I let you walk out because I'd let myself think most of _this_ \- us - was in my head. I talked to Raven and Bellamy and my mom and... I do want to stay. I want to stay. I want to give this a chance.”

“You said that before --”

“I want to make you believe I'm serious. I called my boss. He terrifies me. But I called him and discussed my options. That I could work from here most of the time. He said it's not ideal, but they don't want to let me go.” Monty shuffles as close to him as he can on the couch. “I want to be with you. Here.”

Nathan watches him for a moment, his brows furrowed. “You're serious?”

“I was scared before. I didn't know if it could work. But being away from you, knowing you didn't want to see me... it was killing me.” He reaches for Nathan's hands carefully. Nathan lets him hold them. “This is something special. I've never just _clicked_ with someone that fast. This is real.”

Nathan gives him a tentative smile. “Me neither.”

“Please tell me you want this too. It won't be simple. I'll have to go back at times. I'm living in your sister's house right now. It's all messy. But I'm all in if you are.”

“I do. I want it. I want you.”

“Can I please kiss you?”

Nathan just nods, pulling him in by his hands. Their lips connect when Monty's still awkwardly hovering over him, but he tugs him in his lap easily. Monty holds onto him tightly. He clutches Nathan's shoulders, planting kiss after kiss on his lips.

As they come down, their frantic breaths evening out, he leans their foreheads together. It's hard to tell what will happen to them, but the thought of getting to see their relationship grow is nothing but hopeful.

\--

Raven’s looking for the bottle opener when Clarke walks into the kitchen. They had everyone over for dinner and the night gradually turned into drinks and party games.

Bellamy and Wells were telling everyone about the wedding venue they'd discovered. They seemed finally ready to set the date. Anya was already planning their color scheme and ceremony.

The year had already changed back in England. Harper had sent her a picture of her and Maya posing with their thumbs up while her brother was clearly making out with Monty in the background. It was captioned “it's five past already”.

“Hey”, Clarke says. She looks uncharacteristically unsure of herself. “Can we talk?”

“Sure.” Raven gives up on finding the opener and focuses on her.

“I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For how I treated you. I don't really have an excuse; I was being selfish. But even if I couldn't explain it, you helped me through a lot.”

The apology feels better than she expected. Even if she's moving on, it's like a gentle confirmation of her past feelings, an acceptance that it wasn't all her.

“It's okay. But thanks. I appreciate it.”

Clarke gives her a smile before retreating back to the living room. Raven finally spots the bottle opener on top of the microwave. She stays to watch the room from the doorway for a moment.

She'll miss her family, Harper and Maya and Lexa, even Clarke when they leave. But she can't imagine not having Anya just a few doors down, not seeing Lincoln grow, not getting to help out with the Blake-Jaha wedding. She wants to take Luna on a dozen more dates and make her laugh. She wants to be there for Anya's next show. Emori’s too.

And she'll get to.

Lexa and Clarke are sitting side by side, their hands entwined on Lexa's thigh. The looks on their faces can only be described as _soft_. She knows her friend will be okay, just like she knows Nathan will be happy with Monty.

As the countdown starts, Luna tucks her hair behind her ear. Raven watches her face all the way through. The kiss they share is gentle and Raven can't help smiling into it.

“Happy New Year.”

\--

\--

“Does someone have eyes on the kid?” Bellamy calls from the kitchen.

Monty grabs Lincoln, who's quite the walker now, under the arms and swings the giggling child back to the living room. “All good.”

Wells takes him from him as Anya's busy chatting with Raven. Monty looks around for Nathan, but he's nowhere to be seen. Maya points him to the backyard.

Nathan's standing on the patio with his hands in his pockets, staring up at the sky. Monty walks up to him and wraps his arms around him from behind.

“What are you doing?” he asks softly, placing a kiss below his ear.

“I remember never being able to imagine what your house looked like.”

“Yeah?”

“You gave all this up for me.”

Monty holds him tighter. “I'd do it again in a second.”

Nathan turns around to face him. “Thank you.”

“You have nothing to thank me for. I got a pretty sweet deal.”

Nathan rolls his eyes but lets him kiss him deeply. Monty sucks on his lower lip, dragging his teeth over it teasingly. Nathan's loose and pliant against him in mere seconds.

“Damn you”, he sighs.

“You know what I do miss about this house?”

“What?”

“The hot tub.”

Nathan laughs and pushes him away. Monty takes his hand as they go back inside.

“What are you New Year’s resolutions, Lincoln?” he hears Wells say. “Are you gonna be a good little man? Yes? Nice.”

“We should get one of these, babe”, Bellamy says.

Monty drags Nathan away from the conversation that'll definitely end up in tears. It's only been a year, but the house looks more like Raven's than his. Her move was a lot more efficient than his. It's mostly because they're in the process of putting her house on the market, but it's not like he minds.

As much as he doesn't like being away from Nathan, coming back isn't the worst thing. He and Raven are close friends, and he misses Bellamy and Wells a lot. Still, he wouldn't change a thing. He and Nathan are looking for a place together. He loves being over the top in love and having his feelings returned.

“Hey! We're here!” Lexa drags her suitcase inside the house before dropping it in order to catch Raven's running hug.

“I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too. And look at your tan, girl, you're killing me.”

“How is it that she sounds more like a California girl than you, Raven?” Luna huffs. She gives Raven a quick kiss before moving out of the way so Clarke can step in.

Lexa winks at her. “I'm a natural.”

“Hi.” Clarke gives Raven a short hug.

“Hey. How was the flight?”

“Terrible”, Clarke says just as Lexa says: “Great.”

“Oh my god! Look at this boy!” Lexa skips over to Wells, who's still holding Lincoln. “He's so big.”

“Tell me about it”, Anya chuckles while giving her a hug. “I swear he grows out of his clothes every day.”

“Just wait till you see what I brought him.”

“So who's hungry?”

They all start filing into the kitchen, chattering loudly. Raven and Monty share a private smile across the room.

**Author's Note:**

> i was supposed to have sth snazzy to say but i can't rmr 
> 
> if ur celebrating sth happy holidays, if not have a good weekend n soon to be new year


End file.
